How To Be Supportive (Showing Agreement)
This article is an opportunity for us to break down complex issues and societal programs, into smaller actions and individual behaviours. How can we be supportive of ourselves and others? What does this mean, in reference to our existing attitudes? It’s not about judging where we are, but more so about inspiring curiosity in our thinking. We could apply it to International Women’s Day, programs in the workplace, or services for our community.
In each scenario, there is a desire to provide loving support, so that the other can feel heard and acknowledged. Rather than focus on support in the context of argument this is about when things are running fairly smoothly. When we appreciate what we have, and possess the capacity to anticipate investing in maintaining our relationships and systems. Being supportive is described as “showing agreement, providing encouragement, and giving help within the context of backing or defending” (source).
This is evident in our cities, where we can find services that support equitable access to basic rights and needs. Community networks or families have systems whereby individuals can support access to loving relationships as well as those basic needs. The African proverb “it takes a village to raise a child” acknowledges the necessary systems and support required for healthy growth and development. In the workplace, corporate or organizational culture is tasked with maintaining these systems for staff and clients (along with Human Resource professionals and related programs).
If we break down the steps required, that helps us to uniquely apply these steps in our own way. So, let’s dive into deeper understanding of our ability to back up our experience, as well as the experience of those around us.
Showing agreement.
In the article, “Agree to Disagree” Is Not an End, It’s a Beginning from Psychology Today, the author highlights that we recognize agreement with “[s]tatements like, “You make a good point...” “I agree with you that…” and “That’s something we share in common...” [which] are powerful ways to show a conversation partner we are reasonable and well-meaning. Demonstrating that we want to believe the best about someone boosts respect and collaboration.” Using words that help express our compassion and earnest desire to connect in a vulnerable way and risky, in that we might be taken the wrong way. Rather than observing this as a threat to perceived perfection in the system, approach with the idea that there is always room for improvement. As individuals on this planet, there are over 9 billion ways that we can take things. That’s an immense number of different perspectives which provide vast opportunity for misunderstanding and unclear expectations.
There’s another approach to agreement that applies in the helpful article, Validation: Show you’re listening—even if you disagree by Human Performance Resources by CHAMP ((HPRC) is a team of scientists and specialists who translate research into evidence-based resources to help Service Members and their families). Realistically presented, they wrap the article with a “bottom line” including, “It takes practice to respond to those around you in a way that shows you understand and accept their feelings and experiences, even if you don’t agree.”
Providing encouragement.
The articles in Wikihow are easily accessible with related visuals and step by step instructions on a wide range of commonplace topics. In their article, How to Encourage People by Laura Richer (a Licensed Mental Health Counselor) and Hannah Madden (staff writer, editor, and artist), we’re reminded that “There is always room for improvement––most people are constantly aware of this––but there is no room for berating or criticizing with mean intent; you may feel temporarily clever but barbs leave lasting marks, with no benefit.” As well, the examples apply to a variety of scenarios, which help us to focus on the essential actions and behaviours that will make the best impression on others and improve our sense of belonging.
Through Entrepreneur Magazine’s article 7 Ways to Sincerely Encourage Your Employees, we can see how “Done consistently, encouragement will become a part of your culture. As a leader, when you model and practice encouragement techniques, your employees will start encouraging each other. When a company embraces encouragement, success follows.” From a professional perspective, the relevant examples take away self-doubt and inspire practical actions that take the focus away from success-related praise and onto “providing positive feedback that focuses specifically on effort and/or improvement” within a process.
Giving help within the context of backing or defending.
In Giving Back is Key to Well-Being from the Centre for Parent & Teen Communication, resiliency is a key benefit of investing in this practice. “These uplifting and empowering results partially stem from temporarily putting aside your own troubles. By doing so, we gain a wider perspective, the kind that allows us to appreciate that most setbacks aren’t as big or unsolvable as they seem. We also discover more opportunities for engaging positively with the world around us.” Our own struggles may be overwhelming, but when put in the context of the larger community through our advocacy and support for other’s challenges, our sense of wellbeing improves and we’re more inclined to accept the diverse experiences of others.
We are inundated with stories of companies and individuals “giving back to their community”, as integrating operations into the benefit of the wider community is now an essential business practice. But how can we focus on authentic actions of support, rather than performative or rote behaviours that offer little benefit to those impacted? In the 2021 article, 15 Ways To Give Back (And Generate Good PR For It), Forbes Magazine highlights actions that organizations can take to connect practical actions to charities and nonprofits, aligning causes that matter to the individual employee.
Hopefully these notes help you to identify and appreciate supportive actions and behaviours. In doing so you’re able to reinforce your community, your values, and a sense of self. This helps to bring about a sense of wellbeing, which is a critical component of mental health.
*For further reading about agreement, please see the article Agreeing/Disagreeing in a Dialogue: Multimodal Patterns of Its Expression published by Laszlo Hunyadi of the Department of General and Applied Linguistics, University of Debrecen, Debrecen, Hungary.
